Saturday, January 14, 2006

Dumb Lawyer?

Hari ini aku malas untuk menulis blog kerana siang tadi terlampau banyak makan nasi dagang berlauk ikang aya. Berdessert pula dengan kuih sekaya dan pulut lepa. Di satu warong orang Terengganu pelarian dari Seberang Takir. Bukan lari kerana kes kontena, terangnya kepada kami, tapi kerana rumahnya yang terletak di birai pantai, setiap musim tengkujuh dilanda badai. Kalau dulu kala, tambahnya lagi, diserang oleh pendatang Vietnam, tak kira waktu siang atau malam. Semenjak berpindah ke KL, terang Pak Su, panggilannya, rezekinya bertambah baik kerana di KL orang-orang suka makan, tak kira siang ataupun malam. Aku yakin dengan kenyataannya kerana beliau bukan setakat ada PDA tetapi kesemua gigi hadapannya bersalut emas. Bersinar-sinar.

Yang membelanjakan aku makan adalah seorang teman yang merupakan seorang peguam yang amat berjaya. Berjaya tetapi tak juga kaya-raya. Hari ini dia seronok kerana katanya mahkamah sudah mulai bebas, selepas kes tuntutan Dato Fauziah mengenai penjualan Metramac kepada dua orang Datok dan Datuk yang ternama. Disebabkan aku tak baca akhbar maka aku jahil sedikit tentang berita yang dikaitkan. Dan juga aku tak faham apa maksudnya dengan kebebasan mahkamah, kerana setahu aku kita tidak ada mahkamah. Jadi aku tak pasti sama ada aku yang bodoh atau dia yang bodoh.

Bercerita pasal bodoh mengingatkan aku kepada satu cerita tentang lawyer .....

In a murder trial, the defense attorney was cross-examining a pathologist.

ATTORNEY: Before you signed the death
certificate, had you taken the pulse?
CORONER: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you listen to the heart?
CORONER: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
CORONER: No.
ATTORNEY: So, when you signed the death certificate you weren't sure the man was dead, were you?
CORONER: Well, let me put it this way. The man's brain was sitting in a jar on my desk. But I guess it's possible he could be out there practicing law somewhere.

14 comments:

Kecik @ Arjunna said...

Tuan Keng, kat mana ni? Di sebelah petronas AU ke? Yang teman nak marah ni, kenapa tak ajak teman? Itu lauk nasi dagang ke dalam botol tu?

LIN said...

Tuan Keng: Lawyer tu bertanya tentang makrifah tapi Koroner tu pula jawab secara hakikat. Jadi mana nak jumpa? Ini kenalah belajar dengan Ayah Pin, baru tak celaru.

Maideen said...

Sheikh, orang Tanjung bilang, yang mati tu tadak akai; dan yang dok tanya tu akai tadak! Ini kes naya.

Anonymous said...

Ayah Keng

Kawe ade puyie kedai tu...tapi kawe makan 'satar'.
Dalam banyak2 dumb..saing kawe kate dia suko pada 'dumb blonde'.
Gapo dio tu?

Ambo

abdullahjones said...

:) :) :)

zizie ali said...

AJ bagi 3 senyum. zizie bagi 3 senyum 1 sengih.

Ku Keng said...

Arjunna: Teman dah cakap berkali-kali, bukan tak mau ajak, tapi kome ni macam burung antu. Siang-siang tidor je.

Kome ni betoi le luruih bendoi. Lauk ape macam tu? Kalo ya pun jangan makan. High cholestrol. Nanti parah pulak.

Lin: Apa dia tu? Ayah Pin punya blogsite dah tutup dah, jadi tak boleh lagi nak mintak fatwa. Dia kata hari ni hari Ponggal, mereka bercuti.

Maideen: Tak sangka hang pandai no! Mami apa habaq?

Ambo: Satar tu tak asli la,ikang sikit! Dulu kawe royat doh pasa dumb blonde tu. Dalam kitak Tajul Muluk ado sebok.

AJ: :-D

Zizie:Senyum belum sengih atau sengih belum senyum. Ore kelate kato, kerising kerinyih, kerising kerinyih!

Usha: Hai tidur lagi ke? Malam tadi musang tak datang pasa malam minggu, Mat Rempik buat bising kat kampung. Bukan saja musang lari, rimau pun cabut!

Has said...

you must got very strong affinity to nasi dagang, boleh hidu kat blog saya, keh, keh, keh.

gerai nasi dagang tu kat mana location dia, rasa nak try.

Ku Keng said...

Kak Has: Masuk jalang Giant Permata dari jalang ulu kelang. Sebelong sekolah lembah keramat. Ttepi Petronas. Kedai ujung bukang ttengah pasa hok ttengah tu keda kelatang. The nasi and the shop is real. The rest metaphorical.

dr in the house said...

Keng, I commented this entry much earlier but due to a minor glitch it didnt get loaded.

Anyway, I was saying: sampai hati anda mengutuk lawyer yg telah belanja awak makan?

Tak jadi le kawe nak belanja awok takut nanti kawe jadi dumb doctor pulak! :))

p.s. kawe pon ada banyak collection joke lawyer! hehe Awok dah dgr pasal joke about 4 surgeons and their preference of pateints to do surgery on???

Ku Keng said...

Puan Dr: Ahhh. I thought that you have avoided my blog. : ))

And I keyed in a comment to your blog erroneously into your IF ONLY .. blog instead of the current one.

The joke now is on 5 surgeons. Not 4 anymore, as below:

Five Surgeons

Five surgeons were taking a coffee break and discussing their work.

"I think accountants are the easiest to operate on," said the first surgeon. "You open them up and everything inside is numbered."

"I think librarians are the easiest to operate on," said the second. "You open them up and everything inside is in alphabetical order."

"I like to operate on electricians," said the third. "You open them up and everything inside is color-coded."

"I like to operate on lawyers," said the fourth. "They're heartless, spineless, gutless, and their heads and their asses are interchangeable."

"I like engineers," said the fifth. "They always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end..."

dr in the house said...

I guess Doctors and Lawyers will forever be constant enemies, what with jokes like these huh?!!

Has said...

Lorr, kamu dok cerita fasal nasi dagang kat KL, pening klapa kak dok pikiar kat jalang ulu klang, petronas etc etc kat KT, rasa baru jer gi KT, tak dak jalang2 cam tuh.

anyway buat sendiri lagi best.

sya said...

Nasib baik haku buka Lawyer (sya sambil mengurut dada..)