Dear 'Ammi

Dear 'Ammi Yaasin,

If you still remember your opponent, Sharon, well I wish to convey to you an update on his latest state of health. It is not too good 'Ammi. He is in a state of induced coma.

We remember him well as the butcher of Sabra and Shatila and that he had to blast your head to shreds as he thought that with your demise your organisation would be crippled. And now he just had his head cut and drilled and opened, to be pierced and to be inserted into it tubes and electrodes to jerk his nerves and reactivate his brain. God is conveying some messages to him and his tribe 'Ammi and may they learn it well;

You smiled when you left and we felt at peace with it. But we are not sure if he could recall what a smile is, or whether he will leave with one;

You had to be put on the machine (if I am right to call your simple wheelchair a machine) to carry on with life; well he is now on the machine for the need to support and prolong his life;

It doesn't seem good 'Ammi. He is said to be clinically dead but they are still hopeful that he will open his eyes just like in the movies, give a big yawn and ask for ice-creams or yoghurt. And being a hopeful lot one of the surgeons just said that though chances of surviving his severe stroke are very high, his ability to think and reason have been damaged. 'Ammi, did he ever think or reason before? I am sure that he had not. Thus meaning that he had been around with a damaged brain that long!

Well, I do not know him well 'Ammi, not much more than what you had told us. Thus I am unable to say any word at all about him. But herein below 'Ammi I have some words from a Jew, his own people, to speak of him. There could be no better words 'Ammi other than from your own people. In fact he is not yet dead 'Ammi but they are already posting his obituaries. How very nice and thoughtful of them.

Read on 'Ammi:

When Sharon Meets His Maker
By Gilad Atzmon

"Laura and I share the concerns of the Israeli people about Prime Minister Ariel Sharon's health, and we are praying for his recovery. Prime Minister Sharon is a man of courage and peace"

--George W Bush (US President and man of courage and peace)

"He has surprised, I think, everyone with the courage and statesmanship he has shown in recent years to work towards a long term peace settlement between Israel and the Palestinians."

-- Jack Straw (UK Foreign Affairs Minister and man of courage and statesmanship)

A man of peace is dying. Let us all pray for his quick recovery. A man that was just about to rejuvenate the Israeli political world, redeem for us all the Zionist state and its racist agenda. The great man is gravely ill. Oh dear Lord, save our messiah, oh dear Lord may you now be able to create a donkey so upright that it can carry his load.

A peaceful man is on his way to meet his Creator. The Lord may ask him, just as he enters the gate of heaven, "Hey Grandpa Arik, why are your hands so red?" Sometimes the Dear Lord pretends to be ignorant, he loves to give his chosen followers a chance to repent. Somehow, they tend to forget to do so while they are still amongst the living. But Grandpa Arik is not that silly, the Dear Lord isn't going to fool him that easily. "What red, what blood? This is me painting your land in my favourite colour, I thought you'd like it". Grandpa Arik winks to the Lord. The Lord is left cold, unaffected. For more than a while, he seems to have been perplexed by the conduct his chosen followers.


Meanwhile, down on earth, the Israelites are praying for a new saviour, a new man of peace, a merciless general with a long-term agenda. A term that is so long that no one can ever see where it leads. The Israelites do not like to see a light in the end of the tunnel because it means that they live in a tunnel.

No, it isn't easy to find a replacement for Grandpa. Indeed, as far as filling his shoes goes, the task seems slightly easier, but as far as the waistcoat is concerned, the mission is almost impossible. The whole of the Israelites can fit in. The whole of the Hebraic nation wants to wrap itself up in Grandpa Arik's flak jacket. It is warm in the winter and it provides shadow in the summer. Somehow, it worked for him for many years. Nothing really touched him, nothing really stacked against the man; not the Qibya massacre, not Sabra and Shatila, not the death toll of thousands of Palestinian and Israeli civilians that took place under his direct command. Not even the bizarre death of his first wife and his son.

Grandpa has managed to get away with everything. On Earth.

Grandpa was the last and the best of his kind. He was a devoted Jewish Nationalist. For him peace wasn't an end but rather a tactic. Arik was the last Hebraic warrior, he was the very last Israelite knight. All his followers are merely professional soldiers. They can kill if needed but they do not prefer to bathe in blood. They are spoiled. Thank you peace loving old man for teaching us what the Israelites are all about. Thank you peace loving old man for taking leave of us. Thank you especially for teaching us what Israelis love to love. It is a slight shame it took you so long but considering your talent to resurrect yourself from the dead, I would just say that it is never too late.

That is all I could convey 'Ammi,

Keng